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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555389">oh look, my ham</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Danvers/pseuds/Super_Danvers'>Super_Danvers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Snowpiercer (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluffy, Unwell, melaudrey, ruth wardell mentioned, sick mentioned, snowpiercer - Freeform, snowpiercer tnt, soft, trigger warning, zarah ferami mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:00:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Danvers/pseuds/Super_Danvers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miss Audrey &amp; Melanie Cavill, Miss Audrey/Melanie Cavill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>oh look, my ham</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Melanie felt like crap. She’d been ill before but never like this. Never to the extent that she felt like if she opened her mouth one more time, the only thing that would be coming out of it would be vomit. It was definitely the breakfast she’d had. Melanie hadn’t had the time to swipe something from her own fridge so had opted to have breakfast in Third when she had the time. On arrival – three hours later - she’d been so hungry she hadn’t even looked at the slightly blue-tinged cheese on her grilled sandwich. Matters had only been made worse when she’d had to inspect a situation in the Tail where the smells of blood and filth filled her nose the moment the door opened.</p><p>At least Ruth had the courage to point out that Melanie did, indeed, look unwell. Everybody else was either too polite, or simply too frightened, to mention anything. Even with the I’m-your-superior excuse, Melanie was sent home and Ruth would take over for the day. She was trying not to be happy about it, Melanie was sure. Ruth regularly asked to make an announcement herself, so Melanie was expecting a lot of them while she tried to recover. Not that she was going to stop working while she did so.</p><p>Audrey grinned when Melanie finally trudged into their room at the front of the train. “You look like shit.” She remarked as Melanie made a loud sniff. “Aw, baby.”</p><p>Melanie made a face at the teasing. “I’m fine.”</p><p>Audrey, who had been curled up in Melanie’s armchair, rolled her eyes and stood to cross the room. She looked her wife up and down, popping an eyebrow when she noticed the teal blue journal in her hands. “You better not be working while you’re sick.”</p><p>Melanie tried to conceal it. “It’s just the schedule for today. Ruth’s going to let me know what she gets done when so I know what I have to catch up on-“</p><p>Audrey took the journal from her and tossed it deftly over her shoulder. It landed perfectly on the armchair. When Melanie tried to move past her to retrieve it, she stuck her arm out and leaned against the wall. “No. You’re not going to be making any calls or writing in any notebooks because you, my darling, are going to be doing what sick people do and that’s <em>getting better</em>. Ruth can handle the train by herself.”</p><p>“Audrey, I’m not that ill.”</p><p>“Sweetheart, I can smell your breath and I know for a fact that’s not what your morning breath smells like.” Audrey pointed out. She reached forward and unbuttoned Melanie’s jacket. “C’mon, you take a shower and I’ll put soup on.”</p><p>“No, I don’t-“</p><p>Audrey pushed the jacket off Melanie’s shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. She picked it up and threw it onto her shoulder. “I’ll also grab you a bucket because I can sense some more sick coming and I don’t want it all over me, thank you. And I’m washing this, because it smells as bad as wherever you’ve been.”</p><p>Melanie knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere when Audrey had a task in her head. So, she sighed and made her way to the shower at the other end of their room. As she passed Audrey, there was an audible slap of hand against fabric as Audrey slapped her ass.</p><p>“I have to say, it’s fun bossing you around. Even if you are ill.”</p><p>Melanie glared at her as she closed the door. “I hate you.”</p><p>Audrey only smiled sweetly and gave her a wave as the door shut. Melanie rolled her eyes. <em>Little shit.</em> She wasn’t actually annoyed at her, but she hated being ill more than anything. It disrupted her entire day and the entire train which was a situation she didn’t need.</p><p>The shower was the welcome Audrey had said it would be. Although brief, the water trickling down her back made Melanie feel significantly less shit. When she stepped out, there was a neat pile of clothing waiting on a stool that Audrey had somehow managed to sneak in without Melanie noticing. There was one of Audrey’s hoodies, which once upon a time had been Melanie’s but Audrey had stolen it enough over the yeas that it had eventually become hers. Beneath that were a pair of dark green sweatpants that Audrey knew Melanie loved because she’d gotten them for her on their seventh anniversary (or possibly sixth, Melanie wasn’t very good at remembering which was which).</p><p>When Melanie had brushed her teeth and let down her hair, she poked her head out of the bathroom to find Audrey was waiting patiently for her. She’d dimmed the lighting down so Melanie could barely see her at the other end of the room, but the dark of the room was a pleasure to Melanie’s strained eyes so she didn’t mind too much. Audrey had put a new duvet on the bed too, with an orange knitted blanket Melanie didn’t recognise.</p><p>“Zarah made it.” Audrey chimed, noticing the curious expression on her wife’s face. “She knitted it for me after I gave her my bed on her first night in the Nightcar.”</p><p>Melanie smiled and picked the blanket up. It had been knitted extremely neatly and on closer inspection, she spied that Zarah had sewn a very intricate-looking ‘A’ in the corner. “I’ll have to ask her to make me one.” She mumbled, running her fingers over the A fondly.</p><p>“She’s probably already made you one.” Audrey replied. She padded up to her wife and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. “C’mon, let’s get you into bed. Now that you’re all clean and warm, I can touch you without trying to figure out that scent of sick.”</p><p>Melanie rolled her eyes as she let Audrey guide her into bed. “It’s Third-Class ham, if you must know.”</p><p>Audrey propped the pillows up so Melanie could sit up. “Mhm. Told you that you should’ve changed that menu.”</p><p>“Yeah. Should’ve done.” Melanie climbed into the bed, letting out a contented exhale as she felt the warmth of her duvet touch her toes and Zarah’s blanket be tucked up to her chin. She was starting to feel better already. However, when Audrey didn’t climb into bed beside her, she frowned. “You’re not getting in?”</p><p>Audrey shook her head. “Nope.”</p><p>“Why?” Melanie pouted. Usually, she wouldn’t act so childish but she was sick and was going to take full advantage if Audrey insisted on holding her hand through it. She reached out and caught Audrey’s arm by the sleeve of her hoodie. “Get in.”</p><p>“No!” Audrey chuckled at the pout. “You’re sick, and I know you’re going to be sick again, and this is my favourite hoodie so no!” Melanie tugged on the sleeve, trying to pull Audrey into the bunk which was resulting in fits of laughter. “<em>Mel!</em> Stop it! No, you have no authority in this jurisdiction!”</p><p>“Get in!”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“Please?” Melanie made another pout and attempted to add puppy eyes, hoping it would score her some sickly-wife points. She pulled on the hoodie again, getting Audrey closer and closer.</p><p>“No, I’m not getting into bed with you!” She laughed. When Melanie managed to wrap an arm around an area that was definitely lower than her waist, Audrey swatted at her firmly. “You better watch it, or you’re gonna get yourself into trouble.”</p><p>Melanie smirked, but let go. Audrey evidently had other things planned and was in no mood for day-off-work shenanigans. That shower had really improved Melanie’s mood. So much so that when Audrey disappeared into the kitchen, Melanie stretched herself out of the bed to reach for her journal. Just as her fingertips grazed the top of it, Audrey’s voice wafted in from the kitchen:</p><p>“Melanie Cavill, if you’re looking at that damn journal while my back is turned I am going to dunk this soup bowl over your head and ruin that pretty hair of yours.”</p><p>Melanie groaned, and let go of the book. “I just need to look at it.”</p><p>Audrey appeared again, soup in one hand and a small bucket in the other. “No, you don’t. You, babycakes, need to sit back, have your soup, and rest.”</p><p>Melanie made a face. “Babycakes? What’s with all the nicknames today?”</p><p>“Only thing that gets you to do what I want. Worked for years.” Audrey replied, perching at the end of the bed. She tucked the bucket under Melanie’s arm. “I’ve made you soup, and you’re going to eat it.”</p><p>“What kind?”</p><p>“Tomato. Was all we had, sorry.”</p><p>Melanie shrugged and reached for the bowl. “I like tomato.” She dipped her spoon in and had a gulp.</p><p>Audrey looked at her with an expectant look on her face. “Well? What do you think?”</p><p>Melanie was quiet, as if her face were contemplating the question for a moment. She paused as she tried to swallow and luckily, Audrey knew exactly what that meant. She lunged forward, grabbing the bowl away from Melanie’s hands and shoving the bucket towards her face. Audrey grimaced as Melanie vomited into the bucket.</p><p>“I didn’t think my cooking was that bad.” She joked feebly as she set the bowl down and held Melanie’s hair back. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Melanie’s entire body shuddered and she spat the last few chunks into the bucket. “Oh look.” She groaned unhappily. “There’s my ham.”</p><p>Audrey took the bucket and set it on the floor. “You’re alright, I’ve got you.” She wrapped an arm around Melanie’s chest and guided her back into her sitting position. “Hold on, you’ve got sick on you. Think you can hold it in while I grab a tissue?”</p><p>Melanie only nodded. Her upbeat mood definitely hadn’t lasted long, and now she was back to feeling like crap. Audrey moved like lightning, reappearing with tissue as if she’d never left the bedside. She wiped the sides of Melanie’s mouth gently.</p><p>“There you go. Much better. How’re you feeling?”</p><p>“Like I’ve just been sick.” Melanie grumbled.</p><p>Audrey popped an eyebrow at the tone, but smiled anyway. “Gone back to being a grump, have we?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Wanna try the soup again?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>Audrey rolled her eyes, knowing Melanie was just being dramatic. So, she raised the spoon to her own mouth. “Hm fine, more soup for me then.”</p><p>“Can I have my journal back yet?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>Melanie groaned, and ran a hand through her hair. “What can I have?”</p><p>Audrey took another spoonful of soup and played with it in her mouth as she pondered the question. “You can have a hot tea. You know, because you’re my <em>hottie</em>.”</p><p>Melanie sighed again, shaking her head at the lame joke but Audrey laughed. She thought through her next mouthful of soup.</p><p>“I can read to you, if you want.”</p><p>Melanie looked at her. “You hate reading.”</p><p>“Yes, but I love you.” Audrey pointed out. “Plus, if I read to you, it might send me to sleep faster.”</p><p>That made Melanie smile at least. “That sounds nice, actually. What are you going to read?”</p><p>Audrey returned the grin; glad she’d found something that would lift Melanie’s spirits a bit. “Do you want one of your books or an actual story?”</p><p>“Second one.”</p><p>“When we first met or wedding?”</p><p>Melanie scrunched up her face, thinking. “Hmm….wedding.”</p><p>Audrey clambered into the bed and tucked herself up next to Melanie, wrapping one leg around hers and holding her close to her chest. “Good, because I don’t have the memory to remember how we first met.”</p><p>“You’re awful.”</p><p>“You love it.”</p><p>“Somehow.”</p><p>As Audrey opened her mouth to begin the story, there was a chime overhead and Ruth’s voice rang through shortly after it.</p><p>
  <em>“Dearest passengers, this is a friendly reminder that should you see something suspicious aboard the train, please report to a member of staff or contact your carriage-assigned Brakeman. Remember! See it. Say it. Sort it.” </em>
</p><p>Melanie groaned as the chime rang out again, signifying the end of the announcement. Audrey chuckled, and looked at Melanie. “What was that?”</p><p>“Old British rail line saying.” Melanie muttered. “She’s been wanting to say that for <em>years</em>. I can’t believe she finally managed it.”</p><p>Audrey’s mouth fell open. “Have you not had a day off in seven years?”</p><p> Melanie shook her head. “No.”</p><p>“Christ, Mel. How are you alive?”</p><p>“I’ve got a beautiful, sexy wife who keeps me young and looks after me when I’m sick.”</p><p>Audrey smirked and feigned a hair flip. “What can I say? I am a miracle worker.”</p><p>Melanie poked an eye open. “Hm. It’s either that or I’m just really <em>really</em> good at avoiding her.” She grinned.</p><p>Audrey swatted at her. “You’ll pay for that, Cavill.”</p><p>“Can I pay for it after you’ve told the wedding story?”</p><p>She made a disapproving noise but obliged. Melanie didn’t pay for her cheeky comment, and neither did Audrey, because by the time the story had ended: both of them had fallen asleep.</p>
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